搞笑英文说说
1、学校是殡仪馆，班是火葬场，老师是阎王。
The school is a funeral parlour, the class is crematorium, and the teacher is the king of hell.
2、水壶啊，你为什么哭泣，是因为屁股太烫了吗？
Kettle, why do you cry because your butt is too hot?
3、喜欢一个人就去追，追不到就打断他的腿。
Like a person to catch up, can not catch up, interrupt his leg.
4、我甚至连他的一张照片都没有，他只活在我的记忆里。
I don't even have a picture of him. He only lives in my memory.
5、终于知道为什么要带口罩了，不是因为病菌而是怕遇见口臭的人。
I finally know why I need to wear a mask, not because of a germ but a person who is afraid of meeting halitosis.
6、完整的爱情，既存在于两颗心之间，也存在于两条腿之间。
Complete love exists between two hearts and between two legs.
7、我们要向前看，不错过些歪瓜劣枣怎么知道什么是好。
We need to look forward. It is good to know how to know what is good by crooked melon.
8、你光着身子追我两公里，我回一次头都算我是流氓。
You chase me for two kilometres, and I will be a hooligan when I go back to my head.
9、谁敢把幸福搁在姐身上赌，姐就敢拿命不让他输！
Whoever dares to put happiness on the elder sister's gambling, the elder sister dare take the life not to let him lose!
10、住在局部地区的人太可怜了，那里几乎天天下雨啊！
People living in some areas are miserable. It rains almost every day.
11、你会不会突然想到某个人，某件事，然后就傻傻的笑了。
Do you suddenly think of someone or something, and then you laugh foolishly.
12、颠覆不了的结果，是最开始的伏笔。
The result that can not be overturned is the beginning of the brush.
13、我们的生活总被琐事浪费了，简单点，再简单点。
Our lives are always wasted on trifles, simple and simple.
14、如果不是我爱你，我闲的没事也不会去管你。
If I were not in love with you, I would never mind you.
15、我这人吧，你永远不要挑战我的底线，否则我又要修改底线。
Let me never challenge my bottom line, or I will change the bottom line.
16、别人追你不一定证明你漂亮，而是可能看你那骚样就知道你好泡！
Others may not prove that you are beautiful when they are chasing you, but you may know that you are soaking!
17、整天么么哒么么哒的，我说你怎么不咯咯哒下个蛋呢。
All day long, I said, why don't you cough up an egg?
18、你不要和我吵，你的每一字，每一句，都会成为伤害我的呈堂证供。
Don't quarrel with me. Every word and sentence will become a testimony to my injury.
19、遇到你之前，我的世界是黑白的，遇见你之后，哇靠，全黑了。
Before I met you, my world was black and white. After meeting you, it was all dark.
20、身高这种东西大家都是一米多，有什么好比的。
Height is more than one meter, and there is nothing like it.
21、我都不好意思抓你了，你怎么还好意思偷呢？
I am sorry to arrest you. Why do you feel so good about stealing?
22、太浪费了，怎么不去什么怡红院做啊？
It's too wasteful. Why not go to what Yi Hong hospital does?
23、是我的东西，谁都别想动，不是我的白送我我都不要。
It's my stuff. No one wants to move. I don't want to give it to me.
24、平时疯疯癫癫的和人笑和人闹，不过就是不想一个人孤单而已。
Usually insane and people laugh and make trouble, but just do not want to be alone.
25、原来，世界一个人的时候，才方觉得，一个人的时候，如此心疼。
It turns out that when a person is in the world, he feels that when he is alone, he feels so distressed.
26、这么多年我一直没有瘦，就为了当年分手时，你那一句保重。
I haven't been skinny for so many years, so I took care of you when I broke up.
27、没有女人的日子里，我以调戏男人为乐。
In the days without women, I take pleasure in molesting men.
28、淫的手好湿并不难，难的是淫被子好湿！
Wet hands are not difficult, but the quilt is so wet.
29、得苦中苦，才能开路虎。少壮不努力，只能开夏利！
A bitter bitter, a Land Rover. Strong and not hard, only to open the Charlie!
30、容不容得下是你的气度，能不能让你容下是我的本事。
It is your grace that allows you to tolerate.
31、岁月很长，人海茫茫，别回头也别将就，励志网http://wWw.qqZf.cN/自然会有良人来爱你。
The years are long and the sea is boundless. Do not turn back and do not do so. Naturally there will be lovers to love you.
32、不要以为你满脸青春痘，就自以为青春无敌了。
Do not think you have acne on your face, you think you are invincible.
33、你离开了，就别回来，我这不是垃圾回收站。
If you leave, don't come back. I'm not a garbage collector.
34、你讲我坏话时能不能别添油加醋，以为炒菜啊。
When you speak ill of me, can you not add to the idea of cooking?
35、以后一定要对男朋友好一点，毕竟他是这个世界上眼光最好的人。
After that, be sure to be nice to your boyfriend. After all, he is the best person in the world.
36、等我以后有了钱，我一定要买7亿杯香飘飘，看能不能绕地球两圈。
When I have money in the future, I must buy 700 million cups of fragrance to see if I can circle the earth two times.
37、天降大任于斯人，天不降大任，你不还是斯人吗？
Heaven is great for the people, and the sky will not drop. Will you not be a siren?
38、午夜12点准时下线！否则，公主就会变回灰姑娘。
Get down on time at 12 o'clock in the middle of the night! Otherwise, the princess will turn back to Cinderella.
39、我不会让不珍惜我的人在我身边呆太久。
I will not let those who do not cherish me stay at my side for too long.
40、生活就像曾哥的音乐，时而不靠谱，时而不着调。
Life is like Zeng GE's music. Sometimes it's not reliable, sometimes it's not adjusted.
41、你是幼稚园程度的高中生，先天蒙古症的青蛙头。
You are a kindergarten high school student, a frog with congenital Mongolia disease.
42、我高估了自己在你心中的位置，却也低估了你在我心中的位置。
I overestimated my position in your mind, but underestimated your position in my heart.
43、别人笑我穿的厚，我笑他人冻得透。
Other people laugh at me, I wear thick, I laugh other people frozen.
44、在老师口中，我们永远是最差的学生！
In the teacher's mouth, we are always the worst students!
45、不要以为你晒黑了就能掩盖你是白痴的事实。
Don't think that if you tan, you can hide the fact that you are an idiot.
46、给我一个支点，我能为你撑起一片天。
Give me a fulcrum, I can support you for a day.
47、我才不和你说晚安，我要和你躺一张床上。
I won't say goodnight to you. I want to lie in bed with you.
48、如果你愿意，以后的以后，我会陪你。
If you like, I will accompany you later.
49、若不是我变了摸样，便是你淡忘了时光。
If I hadn't changed my mind, you would have forgotten the time.
50、别以为我长的帅就认为我遥不可及高不可攀，其实我是海纳百川啊。
Do not think that I am handsome, that I am far from being able to climb, I am actually a hundred rivers.
51、哎！好人不长命，那我就做个坏人吧。
Oh! The good man is not long, then I will be a bad man.
52、如果你不打算让我嫁你的话，那就我娶你吧。
If you don't want me to marry you, I'll marry you.
53、你难过个什么劲啊，人家把你当回事儿了吗。
Why are you so sad? Are you being taken seriously?
54、嫌我声音大是么你不知道对狗都是用吼的么？
My voice is loud. Don't you know that dogs are growling?
55、不要和姐玩曖昧，和姐玩曖昧的都必須娶姐！
Do not play ambiguous with your sister. You must marry your sister if you play ambiguous with your sister.
56、没有哥想卜到得、只有哥做卜到滴。
There is no brother and only brother to do divination.
57、你以为最酸的感觉是吃醋吗？不是，最酸的感觉是没权吃醋。
Do you think the most sour feeling is jealous? No, the most sour feeling is that there is no right to be jealous.
58、我伸出三根手指，对你说：送你五个字：一派胡言！
I stretched out three fingers and said to you, "send you five words: nonsense!
59、一骑红尘盖伦笑，嘉文知是赵信来。
A ride of red dust Galen laughed, and Zhao Xinlai.
60、方便面的确很方便，但煮它还是要用电。
Instant noodles are really convenient, but they still need electricity to boil them.
61、请记住、如今的你们对我是怎样的嘴脸，有朝一日必当加倍奉还。
Please remember, what kind of face you are to me today will be repaid one day.
本文地址：搞笑英文说说